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Cool Things About Being A Man
1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2- Your orgasms are real. Always.
3- Your last name stays put.
4- The garage is all yours.
5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10- Same work, more pay.
11- Wrinkles add character.
12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13- Wedding dress ?,000.00; Suit rental ?00.00
14- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
15- One mood, all the time.
16- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
17- A five-day holiday requires only 1 suitcase.
18- You can open all your own jars.
19- You get e! xtra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
20- Your underwear is ?0.00 for a three-pack.
21- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices..
22- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
23- You can quietly watch a match with your mate for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me".
24- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
25- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
26- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
27- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
28- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
29- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
30- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
31- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
32- The world is your urinal. |